Sleep Talking Husband Strikes Again

Due to the lack of interesting things I have to say myself at the moment, I've yet again decided to resort to the sayings of my sleeping husband. This one is from a couple of days ago:

"Stop it you uncultured swine! Shush! ...................shush".

He has jokingly called me (and others) an uncultured swine when awake in the past, as it is a quote from Toy Story. However when he said it this time whilst asleep he definitely sounded serious and annoyed.

As much as I wanted to wake him up to ask about it, I decided not to. Unfortunately he had no recollection of saying this the next day, or the dream that prompted it. So this one will forever be a mystery!

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Husband Quotes: Sleep Talking Edition #5

I was just falling off to sleep the other night when...

Husband: "Excuse me darling, can you move out of the way for a second please?"

Me: "Okay, where am I moving to?"

H: "Oh, I wasn't talking to you. I was having a dream."

Me: "Who were you calling 'darling' then?"

H: "An old lady at the shopping centre".

I just laughed and went back to sleep. Husband was asleep for that entire conversation, as evidenced by his surprise when I told him about it the next day! Husband often talks to strangers, and if they're older ladies they usually get called something like 'darling'. So I could totally see this dream being enacted in real life. Being an introvert and fairly socially avoidant I'd prefer he didn't talk to randoms, and also the terms of endearment I find a bit weird also! It does make for some amusing situations, however.

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Question for you: would you call a random old lady 'darling'??

Husband Quotes: Sleep Talking Edition #4

Yesterday was the Postgrad Conference I was involved in organising. It was a very long day and I'm glad it's over, but it went fairly well.

Anyway, I didn't get home until 11pm and went to give Husband (who was of course asleep) a hello hug. When I did, this is what he said:

"I don't want any frittata!"

Considering I made frittata the other week, and he'd never even heard of it before then, I can only assume that he didn't care for it that much if he's dreaming about avoiding eating it. He had no recollection of saying it until I (of course) teased him about it!

Oh dear, another cooking fail then I guess...

...though I thought they tasted OK! [pic via here]

Husband Quotes: Sleep Talking Edition #3

I find it amusing that I am sometimes able to have a complete conversation with Husband while he's asleep, and he has no idea later this ever took place (until I tease tell him about it, obviously). 

This was said by him in a sweet, laughing kind of voice: "Fluffy, noooooo!"

I of course then asked: "Who's Fluffy?"

"Some sort of half-penguin, half-duck".

"What did Fluffy do?"

"He... peed on me!"

I of course tried to google "half penguin half duck" and unfortunately no such picture exists. I considered either drawing one myself or some sort of photoshop adventure, but I'm neither that talented or motivated sorry! 

So instead here are cute pictures of penguins and ducks, and you can use your own imagination for what Fluffy looks like (in my thoughts, he's also pink for some reason).

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Husband Quotes: Sleep Talking Edition #2

Two down, 9998 to go. [pic source]

Just a short-ish one for today [original sleep talking post here]. 

When we were still going out, Husband would often come over to visit and promptly fall alseep as soon as he was stationary (he also fell asleep a lot when we were on the phone - I try not to take it personally)!

One time this is what he said while asleep:

"When we get married I will buy you ten thousand milkshakes!"

Later when I explained what he had said (I was not so concerned this time as to wake him up and make him explain himself), he had no idea why he said that, but maintained that if I did want 10 000 milkshakes he would get me them. I don't drink milk much, so don't really see the need for that many shakes of the milk variety, but it's the thought that counts, isn't it.

Husband Quotes: Sleep Talking Edition

A habit that can sometimes be irritating, but other times very amusing, is sleep talking. Husband talks in his sleep probably once a month or so. There are three main categories of sleep talking Husband does:

1. In Greek (which makes sense, since he is Greek). However this means I have little idea what he's saying then, but he usually sounds cranky in these ones - at least I can surmise that he's not cranky at me since he doesn't often speak Greek with me! 

2. Work (he's a carpenter): so it involves instructions such as "Pass me that (specific type of wood I know nothing about)". These can be fun as I often reply to these and say "sure, here it is!" and he'll thank me. Though sometimes if I do that he says "No, I didn't want that, I wanted (other wood type)!", so then I usually just go "Sorry we're all out of that" to which he just goes back to sleep. 

3. The last category of sleep talking involves just completely random and bizarre utterances, some of which I thought I'd share over a few posts. Here is the first:

One time when Husband (then boyfriend) was at my house he was having a nap while I watched TV. He mumbled something which instantly made me jump up in alarm, it sounded like "I love you Jane" (my name is NOT Jane). "WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!" I yelped. Still mostly asleep Husband answered more clearly - "I love you Dean". I wasn't sure if this was better or worse! I made the poor guy wake up and asked again what on earth he was talking about. Apparently in his dream, he was actually me, and I was getting married to a guy called Dean. Not any Dean however, THIS Dean (from awesome TV show Supernatural): 

"I love you Dean" [image from here]

Well, that I can deal with (Husband clearly has good taste for me). Unfortunately for Husband though I've never let him live this down, and every now and then "I love you Dean" features in some good-natured teasing (by not only me, but also some family members since I was unable to keep this to myself obviously). 

Stay tuned for future posts of bizarre sleep utterances (or don't I guess, if you thought this sucked, but why would you think it sucked? Do you hate me? WHY!?!). 

P.S. Until then you can visit Sleep Talkin' Man (where this woman's husband seems to sleep talk every night) - it's very amusing in parts, though be warned some things Sleep Talkin' Man says are offensive/gross/definitely not PG rated.

P.P.S. This was posted with Husband's approval - I am not so mean as to share this without asking!

Husband Quotes

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"Come look, it's the Paso doble!" 

I went out to the loungeroom to see Husband in my snuggie (yes I have one and I love it) on the lounge watching So You Think You Can Dance.

...Interesting.

WTH Wednesdays + Husband Quotes: Combined at Last?!

Planking Australia Facebook Page

I think it might be mostly an Australian thing (although there are fears it's SPREADING TO NZ!!!) so far. Love it or hate it, it's caught a lot of attention: PLANKING. What is it? Well, it "involves somebody lying flat on their stomach in unusual or different environments, [it] is a burgeoning internet craze that has attracted thousands of fans right across Australia" - Article from the Brisbane Times.

Here's where the husband quotes part comes in. Last week I came back to my desk in the PhD office to find the following note about a called I'd missed:

"[husband] called, he wanted to tell you he went on facebook finally. He took a planking photo". 

Husband never uses facebook (to the point where he'll attempt to boycott events where he was only invited via facebook - at least he gets into the boycotting spirit) and so he thought it worthy of calling to tell me he'd gone on to post his planking picture. While some of these attempts can be amusing and require a fair bit of skill (I'll admit I attempted it badly on a table), people have taken it way too far and mostly it's just become pretty dangerous. This is evidenced by reports of people being seriously hurt attempting these stunts. I have one word for these people (no offence Husband but you're included hehe): GOOBERS. 

P.S. According to this article, planking is so out, and teapotting is now in!? Slow news day I guess.

Husband Quotes

"Do you think it would be a good idea to start a funeral company and call it Pimp Your Dead?"

...haha sorry no, I really don't.  

P.S. Today is day 3 of no energy drinks. So far so - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Husband Quotes

(in response to my telling him I’ve started a blog) "Does that mean you’ll be famous and make lots of money and have weirdos tell you you’re pretty and ask you to take your clothes off?"

…that’s the dream, I guess? :S